It is Halloween and im going to a concert that i know nothing about, we shall see how that turns out..............
Im playing a disc golf tourney tomorrow :/ yikes
All my friends are so far away from me or not talking to me :/ lame
I don't update my blog as much as i want to and am not sure if i will continue it.........
Also best buy needs to give me some more hours!
That is all.....
B0O
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Smiles from on high
Today was another beautiful fall day with near perfect weather! With these beautiful days it is hard for me to feel sorry for myself or to be sad. I look around and see the grandeur that god has provided me with and i cant deny that happiness that it brings my soul. I truly believe that today was a tender mercy from heaven at least for me. I just wanted to share that with whoever reads this. That is all.....
Pce
Pce
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Im sinking like a stone in the sea
Well I've been trying to write this for the past three days but every time i try i just can get anything to come out. A quick update on my life though....I finally got a job! I got a job at Best Buy in the digital imaging department, so basically i am selling digital cameras and camcorders. I think this will be good because i am really into photography-well at least with my 35mm- so stepping into the digital age will probably be a good step forward for me. Finally one thing in my life seems to be going well again.
Everything else in my life though still feels like it is falling apart. I'm not really sure what i want out of life right now or how to go about it once i decide. There is however one thing i know i want, someone to love and in return someone to love me. I miss feeling completely enveloped by the warmth of unconditional love between another human being and myself. I'm tired of seeing and interacting with a couples that you can just tell are completely in love and finding myself feeling sick because i yearn for that feeling so bad. I'm not sure if there is anything that i really can do that will have a catalytic effect to help me start moving toward that blissful feeling again but i need to try something.
I think it will be nice to start working again and hopefully begin to fall back into a routine. I feel like if i can do that some of the other things in my life that are askew will start to fall back into place.
In the mean time im going to try enjoy the fall by hiking, disc golfing, and enjoying the company of my friends.
Peace
Everything else in my life though still feels like it is falling apart. I'm not really sure what i want out of life right now or how to go about it once i decide. There is however one thing i know i want, someone to love and in return someone to love me. I miss feeling completely enveloped by the warmth of unconditional love between another human being and myself. I'm tired of seeing and interacting with a couples that you can just tell are completely in love and finding myself feeling sick because i yearn for that feeling so bad. I'm not sure if there is anything that i really can do that will have a catalytic effect to help me start moving toward that blissful feeling again but i need to try something.
I think it will be nice to start working again and hopefully begin to fall back into a routine. I feel like if i can do that some of the other things in my life that are askew will start to fall back into place.
In the mean time im going to try enjoy the fall by hiking, disc golfing, and enjoying the company of my friends.
Peace
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Take the Hinges Off the Door
*Disclaimer-small rant below*
I don't understand age differences in relationships. Today when i was waiting for some friends to come play disc golf with me two cars pulled up. In one car was a man that seemed to be in his early thirties and the other a young girl who seemed to be high school age, maybe a college freshman if you are really pushing it! So the young lady gets out of her car and starts to walk toward the car of the creepy old army man. When she gets there they kiss a few time and there is a lot of physical contact which makes it very clear that they have some sort of romantic relationship. This girl was attractive and seemed to be relatively normal. The guy was in no way attractive and in my observations and interactions with him lead me to believe he was kind of a jerk.
First off i don't really understand how this happens. How can you have a relationship with someone that wasn't or maybe just barely was born in the same decade as you. Maybe its just the age i am but i cant really see dating a girl that was within one to two years of my age either way. I just don't understand how a relationship with a difference more than that even works.
The second thing that really grinds my gears about relationships like that is that for the guys from 19 years old until they turn at least 21 it makes it pretty hard to even get girls to notice you. It all just makes me frustrated partially because i just don't understand it and partially because what i do kind of understand i just think is lame.
That is all
Peace
I don't understand age differences in relationships. Today when i was waiting for some friends to come play disc golf with me two cars pulled up. In one car was a man that seemed to be in his early thirties and the other a young girl who seemed to be high school age, maybe a college freshman if you are really pushing it! So the young lady gets out of her car and starts to walk toward the car of the creepy old army man. When she gets there they kiss a few time and there is a lot of physical contact which makes it very clear that they have some sort of romantic relationship. This girl was attractive and seemed to be relatively normal. The guy was in no way attractive and in my observations and interactions with him lead me to believe he was kind of a jerk.
First off i don't really understand how this happens. How can you have a relationship with someone that wasn't or maybe just barely was born in the same decade as you. Maybe its just the age i am but i cant really see dating a girl that was within one to two years of my age either way. I just don't understand how a relationship with a difference more than that even works.
The second thing that really grinds my gears about relationships like that is that for the guys from 19 years old until they turn at least 21 it makes it pretty hard to even get girls to notice you. It all just makes me frustrated partially because i just don't understand it and partially because what i do kind of understand i just think is lame.
That is all
Peace
Facta Non Verba
In my senior year of high school I took AP English from Mrs. Norton. When we would read anything-from Lord of the Flies to any of the Shakespeare plays- there was one phrase she would always pound into our heads, order from chaos. That is probably one of the only things I consciously remember from that class but after the past few confusion filled weeks I really hope it is true.
I really wish Mrs. Norton still taught so i could go back and ask her how long it takes for that order to come because I am really tiring of the chaos. I know it seems like im just whining but i yearn for a routine again, i ache for stable relationships with those in my life, and most of all i just want to feel like i am back on the path of my life. Right now i just feel like my life is passing my by while i lay here in a self induced coma.
In this time of confusion my sources of solace are listening to and buying vinyl records(If you have read my previous blogs you know i LOVE vinyl), shopping at REI, and just being outdoors. There is a strange peace that i get when i go out for a hike or climb in the perfect fall weather and just marvel at the beauty of gods creations. Also i have developed a liking for the sport of disc golf. It is nice because you can just play it by yourself so you dont have to worry about other people bailing on you.
I really do like life and am sure i will learn something important to the success of my later life out of this crazy confusing time.
*I know i havent written in a while and it helps me clear my thoughts so ill probably start updating my blog a couple times a week or so*
I really wish Mrs. Norton still taught so i could go back and ask her how long it takes for that order to come because I am really tiring of the chaos. I know it seems like im just whining but i yearn for a routine again, i ache for stable relationships with those in my life, and most of all i just want to feel like i am back on the path of my life. Right now i just feel like my life is passing my by while i lay here in a self induced coma.
In this time of confusion my sources of solace are listening to and buying vinyl records(If you have read my previous blogs you know i LOVE vinyl), shopping at REI, and just being outdoors. There is a strange peace that i get when i go out for a hike or climb in the perfect fall weather and just marvel at the beauty of gods creations. Also i have developed a liking for the sport of disc golf. It is nice because you can just play it by yourself so you dont have to worry about other people bailing on you.
I really do like life and am sure i will learn something important to the success of my later life out of this crazy confusing time.
*I know i havent written in a while and it helps me clear my thoughts so ill probably start updating my blog a couple times a week or so*
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